“This is messy! You are messy! Your BRAIN is broke!”
The year is 2015. I am but a wee sophomore in college when all my friends start texting me and asking if I’ve seen this ~Zola~ story on Twitter. At the time, I had not:
SO, I proceeded to spend my break between classes hunkered down in the Warren Towers Starbucks to read this entire saga from start to finish. Needless to say, I was never the same.
In case you need a refresher, this story is about a woman named Zola who gets roped into a trip down to Florida by a woman named Jess (who she met during her shift at Hooters). What was supposed to be a weekend of “hoeism” and stripping turned into one of prostitution, extortion, murder, and an unhinged man named Jarrett.
Almost IMMEDIATELY after this tale went viral, people were demanding for a movie to be made. And now, nearly six years later, we have our first look at Zola:
“Y’all wanna hear a story about how me and this bitch fell out? It’s kinda long, but full of suspense.” WE LOVE A RIPPED-FROM-THE-TWITTER-THREAD LOGLINE!
Taylour Paige plays the titular Zola, a pole dancer and waitress who gets caught up in NONSENSE!
Riley Keough plays Stefani (fka Jess), a stripper who convinces Zola to go on a road trip down to Florida to make money dancing and participate in good-natured “hoeing”:
Colman Domingo plays X (fka Z), Stefani’s roommate/pimp/handler/friend/partner-in-crime (???):
And then my MAN, my 6’5” king, Nicholas Braun plays Derrek (fka Jarrett), Stefani’s clueless boyfriend who sometimes hits himself:
Now, if you read the thread, then seeing this story come to life is going to be a ride-and-a-half…
…but if you HAVEN’T, then buckle up, kiddo, ’cause this story’s got stripping…
…which leads to prostitution — something Zola did NOT sign up for…
…which leads to criminal activity…
…which leads to Derrek maybe jumping out of a window…
…and all that drama isn’t even a DROP IN THE BUCKET to what the whole story entails.
Be sure to catch Zola in theaters this summer for a whole lot of messy mess.
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